A limp handshake is timid, shy, lacking self-confidence. When you reach forward and grab limp fingers that collapse in your hand, I always feel sorry for that person. It doesn’t matter if you’re skinny or small, even the frailest of people can offer a good handshake.

I lose respect for the person with a crushing handshake. It’s a display of ego and power and I have no time for people like that. There’s a difference between an extra firm handshake and a crushing one. I had an uncle who delivered milk and the resulting strength made shaking his hand feel like I was shaking a padded vice. But he never tried to overpower me, it was just a hand that was very strong. Other men (it’s always men) have treated it like a subtle arm wrestle, trying to crush my hand as a contest of who’s the more powerful.

I’ve messed up a few handshakes, miss-timed the squeeze, catching me or the other person unprepared. I’ve even offered a do-over on such occasions! It’s good for a laugh and is a great icebreaker. Practice with a friend if you’re new to social situations where handshakes are expected and unsure of how yours comes across. Ask me if we cross paths! It’s easy to master and is an important part of a business conversation.

Bonus protip: If you have a cold drink in hand, always hold it in the left. Cold, damp handshakes make you come across as sweaty, nervous or a standing corpse.